I thought cheating was bad..

Wait?! I thought cheating was a thing?!

I’m so happy I’ve saved every post I’ve ever written – who the heck was I?! The summer before I went away to school, I went to an Italian fair with a few friends, both in which are naturally skinny and pretty and great. It was a little over a year ago and it was when I was a complete spaz about everything I put into my body. My post was called “I Cheated.”

“I just chewed my peach cobbler dessert gum faster and faster every time I watched them take a bite.”

lol what?

“I woke up feeling depressed, fat, and disgusted with myself.”

oh goodie

“I cheated but today I will forgive myself, I will love myself, and I will accept myself.”

What in thaaa?

I’m allowed to laugh at myself. And you’re allowed to laugh too because I sound ridiculous. I don’t look back and regret anything that I wrote because at the time, thats all I knew. I do regret the way I treated myself and my body. My head was constantly filled with such negative and depressing thoughts because my body wasn’t looking ‘perfect.’ I didn’t look like my insta(wannabe)friends. I felt like I looked like Hanna and that was something I wasn’t okay with.

Theres not a doubt in my mind that every single girl, especially in todays society, that feels this at some point in their lives. I’m a big sister to two beautiful teenage girls. Both in which constantly tell themselves their fat. They need to go to the gym. They need to look this certain way.

My best advice to my eighteen year old self- love yourself and be content

Life is life and if you have to enjoy it. Love your body, find your peace of mind, and don’t forget to live every now and again

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